6:00 a.m. It's early when we arrive in Lisbon. Too early. Yet I can't wait to get off the bus. Not because I'm excited--because I've been wedged in among too many people for two many hours. I had the misfortune of a window seat crammed next to one big dude and behind the only guy in the bus who reclined his seat. Weasel. Three hours of sleep, tops. None of it any good. Even still, I miss my stop and get dumped off at the marina. Which, actually was perfect, because it allowed me to get a shot like this.



This part of Lisbon was pumped up for the 1998 World Expo something or another. Yes, I am making that up. I forgot what it was really done for.

6:20 a.m. Lisbon has a fantastic metro--four separate lines that run you throughout the city. Unfortunately, it only helps so much when you don't know where you are going in the city.

8:40 Looks like another non-breakfast day. I down a cappuccino in a little coffee shop in the classic neighborhood that looks a lot like this.


Actually, this was it. Block-and-a-half on the left. Had free wi-fi and a good bathroom so I could feel a little more clean. Could barely order in Portuguese, which is close-but-not-quite Spanish. Enough to be annoying.

10:00 They said they had an area that showed the Moorish roots of Lisbon. I just saw more tiles, and it took me two hours of wandering to get there.


By the time I found my way out of there, an hour had passed and I'd stumbled into a crafty-market. Like the one I live in, only without pressure or narrow streets or jacked-up prices or dust or sellers that don't speak English. So it was nothing like it.


1:15 Now I'm grumpy. Lisbon is a city built on seven hills. I knew this. I didn't know all seven hills lay between me and the nearest metro stop. And there are no signs pointing to it. I've been wandering uphill for the last 90 minutes without any clue if I'm even close to where I'm trying to get. I'm hungry, grumpy, and badly in need of a caffeine buzz.

1:55 Lisbon has the two largest malls in Europe. Apparently. I couldn't find one. But No. 2 had a huge food court. I learned two new phrases.
1. Chicken in Portuguese is Frengo. and
2. Bacon sounds a lot like Vegetarian.

Pri-Pri chicken is famous, spread by Nando's around thh world. I've eaten it in both Kenya and South Africa. I was hoping to find it here. But I settled instead for a bacon-chicken sandwich. At least, that's what I ordered. The guy made a veggie-chicken sandwich. As anyone on break from an Arab country will tell you, the two are not the same. I sent it back. They yanked off the veggies and slapped on two slices of bacon.

If I remembered the name of the restaurant, I'd tell everyone to never go back.

4:00 So there are two things still that set Lisbon apart still. They both are across the bridge from the main city. the first is the bridge, a duplicate of the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco.
Named Porte April 25, it commemorates the day Portugal threw off it's own dictator. The bridge was designed by the same architect that did the Golden Gate bridge.



The second is the Criste-Reio statue, Christ the King, a slightly-diminutive version of the Christ-the-Redeemer statue in Rio de Janeiro. It's 28 meters tall and stands 300 feet over Lisbon.


I spent three hours trying to reach them, only to be turned back around 200 feet shy. Bleh.

7 p.m. I have to be conscious of time. The bus leaves in 2.5 hours. It's time, but not a lot. Have to be 30 minutes ahead of schedule. And I still have to find pri-pri chicken. I race through the restaurant district. Italian food. Spanish food. British (?) food. Everything but Pri-Pri chicken. Finally find one guy who is apparently not trying to rip people off. Get the food. Eat it. Delicious.

Then I got the tab. He'd added bread. And olives. And a tip. Added up to €11.80--twice what was the original cost. Not so cool.




8:10 Street musicians--black woman and white man in dreads playing some African-sounding music. Sounds impressive.
8:30--Race back to the subway. Wait for four minutes. I've got 30 minutes to be back to the bus station.
8:41 I overshoot the stop by one. I race around the side and wait on the other side.
8:45. No subway.
8:47, No subway
8:51 Subway finally shows up. Longest wait of the day.
8:58--Get off the subway. Race up the hill. Wait 15 minutes for the bus back to Seville.

One more day...

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Friday, 7:10" After only 5 hours of sleep I left to work, met up with my boss, then found out that he'd already left the meet up with me at my house. I had to kill an extra 10 minutes, but I still made it to the airport.

Friday, 7:30: I was the only person in line to check-in for my flight two hours early. Why in the U.S. do we have this guideline, yet international flights in other countries have no problem? It's inefficient. Anyway, I make it through the whole conversation in Arabic...until she asks me for my hand baggage. I don't know hand baggage. Almost had someone convinced I spoke Arabic.

Friday, 8:12: Just saw girl probably displaying her hair dye Henna. There are 2 types but usually the dark henna used on tourists is made up of nothing but hair dye. As long as they don't know the difference, it's an easy way to skim some money. But it makes someone look like an easy mark to to the locals.

Friday, 1:30 p.m. (Seville time): Airport ATMs are such rip-offs. To get out of Seville, you have to take a bus that costs €2.30. If you don't have euro, you have to find some. The ATM ripped me for an extra 10 percent commission. When I tried to cancel out, it gave it to me anyway.
I hate ATMs.

Friday, 3:30 p.m. A website said Starbucks in Spain had free internet. The website was wrong. But there's no time for that now. The cathedral is just around the corner.

Friday, 3:43 p.m. They say this is the largest church in the world and, having seen Saint Paul's in London I really can't argue. How big is exactly you say? Well, on one corner of it they have a Starbucks and on the other corner, they have another Starbucks. OK, maybe that's a bad example.

Friday, 4:07 p.m.: Smoothie time! Europe on a budget is tough. You have to pick and choose your spots. For example, this smoothie was lunch. €2.65. And I got to sit inside for 30 minutes. But I'm too restless to stay too long.


Friday, 4:11 p.m.: Still in the restaurant when the radio starts blaring, "Hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play," Who knew 90's American music would still be haunting Spain in 2009? (And now it's in your head too.)

Friday, 4:27 p.m. The cathedral bell tower was converted from a mosque built in the 1200s. I've seen its duplicate in Marrakesh. Seeing this one now, it just doesn't look quite right, kinda like a new set of clothes on a person still badly in need of a diet.
Compare:

With this:

Friday, 5:15 p.m.: So I'm walking to Avenue Kansas City when I pass by this park with a statue. I really think this is something to do with Christopher Columbus largely because it says Christopher Colon on the very top, but I don't know what. Maybe if I sit here for a long time, I will figure it out.



Friday, 5:21 p.m. Time to get a little concerned about the Spanish work FAQ: All the pharmacies say "Open 12 hours"--What are people supposed to do the other 12 hours?

Friday 6:30 p.m.: Here, after a kid's meal, a Burger King double barbecue chesse burger, I stopped by the local ircuit City. Did you know to leave a bag in spain at one of the check-out places, you need to leave three Euro at the counter to make sure you return your lock?

Friday 7:10 p.m.: Kansas City is a sister city with Seville. I don't know what that means or how it started, but one of the main streets is Avenienda Kansas City. It made me feel a little bit like home. Better barbecue would have helped, though.

Friday 7:25 p.m.: It's a long walk back to the square. The bus station seems like a distant memory. My wit is gone, burned up along with my leg muscles. I have to start remembering to budget for transportation.

Friday 8:00 p.m. Crossed the river, found an un-touristy cafe for another cup of coffee--and a bathroom break. Things you don't plan for until you need them the most. Whew. It's kind of a slower Friday night, and I'm limited in what to do until my bus leaves. This place doesn't really come alive until after I'm gone.

Friday, 8:30 p.m.: Paying for my coffee was a little harder to do. I don't know how to say bill in Spanish, and I wanted to give a little bit of tip, because it's the only reason American aren't viewed as the worst people in the world right now, because we tip a little bit. All I had with the exact change or €5, I'm not paying 5 euros for a cup of coffee. I put the money on the table and start walking off, but the waitress ignores it. It takes her five minutes to pick up the plate, and only then can I leave. As an American ambassador, I apologize.


Friday, 9:45 p.m.: In Madrid, it seemed stores never closed. I was out past midnight and had no trouble finding a place to buy gum (no toothbrush that night). Here, it's not even 10 p.m. and I can't find a place to buy a bottle of water.

Friday, 9:58 p.m.: Found one. The line stretched to the back fo the store. Maybe some other store should get this idea.

12 a.m. The bus took off, only 30 minutes late. I'm wedged in a small corner. Not sure about sleep quality. It could be a long seven hours to Portugal.

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1. When someone is told to change one drink for another, it really means, bring them both. (No special orders)
2. A fantastic conversation can be ruined by one comment at the end.
3. A no-meat diet isn't that hard to maintain, if you keep forgetting to buy meat.
4. No No.4 today. But Sarah Palin resigned. What's up with that?
5. It is perfectly acceptable in this culture to borrow someone's camera and break it and return it with a simple apology.
6. It is also acceptable to take that person's rent money and use it to buy a camera after being tired of borrowing their broken one.
7. Also, it's cool to cancel appointments by calling one friend in a group.
8. By the way, best not to bike five minutes after waking from a nap. Not unless you want to appear like Tony LaRussa.

Have a great Independence Day tomorrow!

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Ok, today is the first of a new segment we’re calling “10 Things I learned today.” I can’t seem to break through my five-month writer’s block, so I’m willing to try anything to get the ball rolling again. It’s simple: A list of 10 observations I made today, without the stories that might explain them. This means, unless you ask questions, you will probably hate what you are reading. That’s not my fault. Also, the number 10 is arbitrary. It may be more. It may be less. I have writer’s block. It’s impossible to predict.

1. Information on the internet is always true. But only if it’s written in Arabic.
2. Studying language at 4 a.m. may seem like a good idea. But it’s not really.
3. Guitar humidifiers in desert climates don’t stay moist longer than a day.
4. While camera repair guys in Europe have to send your camera out, the guy at the end of the alley can fix it for 20 bucks.
5. But he has to go pray just to make sure he can fix it.
6. Hot dogs still taste good, even when they aren’t made of pork.
7. But eating two hamburgers will make the meeting that follows uncomfortable.
8. And in five hours, I’m doing it all over again.

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