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10 things I learned today



1. When someone is told to change one drink for another, it really means, bring them both. (No special orders)
2. A fantastic conversation can be ruined by one comment at the end.
3. A no-meat diet isn't that hard to maintain, if you keep forgetting to buy meat.
4. No No.4 today. But Sarah Palin resigned. What's up with that?
5. It is perfectly acceptable in this culture to borrow someone's camera and break it and return it with a simple apology.
6. It is also acceptable to take that person's rent money and use it to buy a camera after being tired of borrowing their broken one.
7. Also, it's cool to cancel appointments by calling one friend in a group.
8. By the way, best not to bike five minutes after waking from a nap. Not unless you want to appear like Tony LaRussa.

Have a great Independence Day tomorrow!
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10 things


Ok, today is the first of a new segment we’re calling “10 Things I learned today.” I can’t seem to break through my five-month writer’s block, so I’m willing to try anything to get the ball rolling again. It’s simple: A list of 10 observations I made today, without the stories that might explain them. This means, unless you ask questions, you will probably hate what you are reading. That’s not my fault. Also, the number 10 is arbitrary. It may be more. It may be less. I have writer’s block. It’s impossible to predict.

1. Information on the internet is always true. But only if it’s written in Arabic.
2. Studying language at 4 a.m. may seem like a good idea. But it’s not really.
3. Guitar humidifiers in desert climates don’t stay moist longer than a day.
4. While camera repair guys in Europe have to send your camera out, the guy at the end of the alley can fix it for 20 bucks.
5. But he has to go pray just to make sure he can fix it.
6. Hot dogs still taste good, even when they aren’t made of pork.
7. But eating two hamburgers will make the meeting that follows uncomfortable.
8. And in five hours, I’m doing it all over again.
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